It's happened again this year. Merchants have skipped over the Thanksgiving holiday and have already started advertising for Christmas. Usually they wait until after Halloween. (After all we can't afford to offend the pagans, now can we?) I think most Christians have noticed this phenomenon. Have you ever wondered where it comes from? Well, I think I know.  It's a conspiracy on the part of the turkeys. Every year they have their population decimated by Thanksgiving dinner.  Two hundred years ago they had a famous politician on their side. Benjamin Franklin wanted to have the turkey honored as our national bird. The turkeys would have loved that. They would have been a protected species and we would be eating eagle for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Alas, it was not to be. Poor Ben and the turkeys lost out in the congressional vote. Since then, they have tried other means and strategies to get rid of Thanksgiving, but have not succeeded. In the last few years, however, they have devised a strategy which seems to be working. It is the diversionary tactic of trying to help people forget about Thanksgiving and start thinking about Christmas as soon as possible.  It's the old mental sleight of hand that magicians use to direct your attention opposite of where it should be.  The cows have even taken up this tactic by advising people to eat more chicken at Chick-fil-A.  You see the turkeys got together and decided they would go around to all the merchants and convince them to start advertising for Christmas as early as possible in the year. One of the means of persuasion was to remind the merchants that Christmas was indeed a more profitable time as people bought gifts for Christmas, whereas they only bought a turkey at Thanksgiving.  This really only profited the grocers. Of course, the merchants advised the turkeys, they could not afford to offend the pagans who celebrated Halloween. Indeed, that was a profitable time of year also, since people did buy a lot of kiddy and adult costumes, massive quantities of booze for company parties, and candy which most retailers could sell.  The turkeys agreed to this concession saying it would be acceptable to wait until after Halloween to promote Christmas shopping as long as it was immediately the day after so that people could be distracted before they started thinking about Thanksgiving. 

The turkeys also started a campaign to educate people to the fact that it was also perfectly acceptable to use other types of meats for celebrating Thanksgiving. They always fail to mention that it was turkey the Pilgrims had for the famous celebration which inaugurated Thanksgiving in the first place.  (I also believe the turkeys had something to do with the current massive movement of people to become vegetarians, but I don't have any documented proof at the present time.)

In the final analysis of the turkeys' strategy to eliminate Thanksgiving, I notice a striking similarity to the strategy of liberals in their attempts to eliminate Christian influence from this country.  Hmmm, I wonder if the two groups are related in some way.